Home Tech Debate Intensifies: How Should Parents Manage Teen Technology Use?

Debate Intensifies: How Should Parents Manage Teen Technology Use?

As millions anticipate new Instagram protections aimed at young users, parents and experts turn their attention to the impact of social media on children.

by Soofiya

When Meta, the parent company of Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp, announced plans to introduce Instagram restrictions for teens, especially those under 16, many viewed it as a long-overdue response to growing concerns from parents, policymakers, and public health experts.

Instagram, alongside TikTok, remains one of the most popular apps among teenagers, commanding significant influence and capturing the attention of millions of young users who seem constantly engaged with their smartphones.

Meta’s updated policies will automatically limit who can contact teen users and control the content they see. Teen users under 16 will require parental permission to alter these default settings, Meta explained.

This move came months after the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, advocated for social media platforms to carry warning labels due to rising concerns about their effects on teenagers and younger children.

In today’s digital age, parenting has taken on a new dimension. Technology, while a boon in many ways, poses challenges for parents of teenagers. The rise in screen time, social media use, and gaming is triggering debates on how best to manage and guide teens in the digital world. The common rallying cry, “Be a parent,” suggests that parents should take the lead in setting limits and monitoring their teens’ tech habits. But how exactly should parents do this, and what are the potential pitfalls?

1. The Problem with Excessive Screen Time

Studies have shown that teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on their devices—often exceeding seven hours daily, excluding time spent on schoolwork. This trend is alarming, as it is linked to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders. With screens omnipresent in daily life, how can parents effectively curb usage without triggering resistance or even rebellion from their teens?

2. The “Be a Parent” Approach: Setting Boundaries

Advocates of the “Be a Parent” philosophy argue that parents should be proactive in setting and enforcing rules around technology. This includes implementing screen time limits, monitoring app usage, and setting device-free hours (e.g., during meals and before bedtime).

Steps for Setting Boundaries:

  • Establish clear screen time limits tailored to your teen’s age and needs.
  • Encourage offline activities like sports, reading, and hobbies.
  • Set up family tech-free zones and times to promote real interaction.

Proponents believe that enforcing these boundaries, even when met with resistance, is crucial for developing healthy habits.

3. The Flip Side: Trust and Autonomy

Critics of strict parental control argue that over-regulating technology use can backfire. Adolescence is a time for teens to explore independence and develop self-regulation skills. If parents are too controlling, teens may rebel or find covert ways to bypass restrictions, leading to secrecy and mistrust.

Experts recommend a balanced approach where parents engage in open conversations with their teens about their digital habits. Encouraging teens to set their own limits and be mindful of their screen time fosters responsibility and self-regulation, which is essential as they grow older.

4. Social Media: The Double-Edged Sword

Social media platforms have become an integral part of teens’ social lives. While they can offer a space for connection, learning, and self-expression, they also present risks like cyberbullying, peer pressure, and exposure to harmful content.

Parents can take an active role in guiding their teens through social media use:

  • Engage in dialogue: Discuss the pros and cons of social media openly with your teen.
  • Monitor without hovering: Instead of spying on their every move, have periodic check-ins about what they are doing online and with whom.
  • Model healthy behavior: Parents should also be mindful of their own screen habits, demonstrating balanced use.

5. The Role of Schools and Communities

The responsibility of managing teen tech use shouldn’t fall solely on parents. Schools and communities also play a critical role in educating teens about responsible digital habits. Many schools now integrate digital literacy programs that teach students about online safety, critical thinking, and the impact of social media.

Parents can collaborate with schools and community organizations to create a consistent message and approach. Support groups and workshops can also provide guidance and help parents navigate the challenges of digital parenting.

6. Finding the Right Balance

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for managing teen technology use. Each family’s approach may vary based on their values, the needs of the teen, and their relationship dynamics. Here are some practical tips for parents looking to strike the right balance:

  • Communicate: Talk openly with your teen about their online activities and interests.
  • Set Reasonable Limits: Implement rules, but be open to negotiation and flexibility as your teen shows responsibility.
  • Promote Balance: Encourage offline activities and help teens develop hobbies that don’t involve screens.
  • Be a Role Model: Show your teen how to manage technology use by modeling balanced behavior.

The debate on how to manage teen technology use will continue as technology evolves. Striking the right balance between guiding and trusting teens is key. While the “Be a Parent” mantra emphasizes the importance of parental intervention, it’s also essential to foster open communication, trust, and independence. By adopting a flexible and collaborative approach, parents can help their teens navigate the digital world responsibly and healthily.

Patricia Prudente / Unsplash highlights these growing concerns over social media’s impact on children.

Instagram announced these new protections in a year when social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, continued to top best-seller lists. In Haidt’s view, smartphones, screen time, and social media have created a “perfect storm” leading to significant mental health challenges among young people.

Instagram’s protections for teen users will first roll out in the U.S., UK, Canada, and Australia, with the EU following later in the year. Meta states the rest of the world will begin seeing these features in January.

Meanwhile, debates over the effectiveness of these features fuel broader discussions about screen time, potential social media addictions among youth, and strategies to mitigate them. In June, entrepreneur and social media expert Gary Vaynerchuk joined the conversation, asserting that tech companies are not to blame.

“Be a parent—take the phone away, delete the app, moderate your child,” Vaynerchuk said. “We have a parenting pandemic. We’re in a generation of parenting that avoids letting children face consequences for their actions. That’s our issue.”

These debates show no signs of fading, leaving parents worldwide grappling with the challenge of managing their teens’ social media use while maintaining a balance.

In the UAE, behavioral scientist Assia Nait Kassi noted an increase in parental concerns over children’s screen time. Yet, she also observed a backlash against smartphone shaming.

“In the UAE and the region, technology is seen as an integral part of education and development,” she explained, highlighting how some parents view tech as crucial for students to stay competitive. “Technology can create future job opportunities for children.”

Assia Nait Kassi, founder of MentalEdGroup, suggests that a nuanced approach is needed when addressing teens, screen time, and technology. Photo: MentalEdGroup.

To support parents amid the heated debate, Nait Kassi, co-founder of MentalEdGroup, a mental health education organization in the UAE, has launched workshops called “Screens and Scenes.”

“We explore multiple perspectives… there isn’t just one way to address this issue,” she said. “What we need is digital literacy. People need to be screen-wise, not screen-absent.”

She also noted that the push for bans on social media and smartphone use among teens isn’t always grounded in science.

Some UAE schools, like Gems Winchester School in Dubai, have already taken steps to limit screen time by providing lockers for students to store their phones during class. Raha International School Gardens Campus in Abu Dhabi and Dubai British School Jumeirah Park plan similar measures.

Yet, these efforts can have unintended consequences. “A mother told me, ‘They don’t allow phones at school anymore, but now my child has to catch up with notifications during the car ride home,’” Nait Kassi shared.

Engaging teens in meaningful conversations is critical, she added. Parents might consider allocating 10-20 minutes for smartphone use before using the commute to talk about their day.

“You can let your children check their phones briefly, and then the rest of the car ride can be for discussion,” she suggested.

Regarding Instagram’s new policies, Nait Kassi believes features like sleep mode, which disables notifications between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m., are long overdue. However, she cautioned that Instagram is just one of many apps teens use.

“There are so many apps out there now,” she said. “Parents need to be aware of which apps their children are using and why. They need to have two-way conversations, not one-sided rules.”

She also recommended simpler measures, such as not allowing children to have smartphones before age 14. “At 14, they have more autonomy and can better understand digital literacy,” she explained.

When discussing proposed legislation and policies worldwide that aim to ban social media use or limit mobile tech for children, Nait Kassi warned that such bans could be ineffective if not paired with digital literacy education.

“A ban, alongside digital literacy programs in schools, could be effective,” she said. “But banning alone may backfire, as teens might find ways around it.”

Parents today face a vastly different landscape than the one they grew up in, Nait Kassi noted. “Screens and smartphones are part of the modern world. Just because a parent allows screen time doesn’t mean they don’t love their child. We need a balanced conversation to promote a healthy life for all,” she emphasized, advocating for digital literacy for both parents and teens, along with support from schools, regulators, and tech companies.

“We need to listen to different perspectives,” she concluded. “One-size-fits-all solutions may be appealing, but they’re not the best way to find balance.”

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